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easy-there-leftovers · 2 years ago

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I See You, Darling (3)

[Astarion x reader] As I mentioned in a previous post, this came along surprisingly easier than the last one. The same can’t be said about the quality though maybe– sorry for that. :,DDD|Word count: 2.6k.|

Content Warnings: Mentions of cooking, handling knives, blood, one sex joke (lol), the normal warnings that you’d associate with the game

Part 2 here!!

Next Part here!!

As an outsider to most of everyone’s problems, you find your place by helping in whatever way you can. Even if that may be at the expense of your own comfort, but at least it’s been fun so far.

Alternatively: Reader can't catch a break from anything, can they?

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Being resident camp caretaker was surprising, for lack of a better term. You were away from the stresses of technology, corporate assholes, and disappointing family with your choice to pursue unpractical careers. Instead living the “cottagecore lifestyle” of foraging for food and cooking with a cauldron that those from the digital world claimed to be the best. What they failed to mention were the incessant pests coming in to nibble through rucksacks if you were not careful, and the occasional swarms of ants or flies coming in to nip at your flesh.

The experience was a mixed bag, so it would seem. But the tired smiles that the group would give you when you greet them with a warm and filling meal was always a comfort that you would have.

And it would seem they needed it now more especially than ever.

Your band of misfits planned to venture out and defeat the goblins at their camp in order to aid the tieflings’ journey to Baulder’s Gate. Per your instruction, you convinced the more solipsistic members of the benefits of eradicating the sect. Namely, they wouldn’t hinder you as much in the future if they were taken care of. Hence your plan to slightly increase the amount of portions for supper tonight.

By twilight, you had a good broth steeping in your cauldron. The camp having returned just a few moments prior from an earlier excursion. You were making a pottage that the others have expressed their enjoyment for. A stew of sorts that you had made when you had quite the number of items that would have spoiled before consumption had you not done anything about it. A mixture of fruits and meat, stewed in a consomme of a pig’s head and various mushroom caps.

This time around, you’ll be using fresher ingredients to hopefully lift their spirits.

As you’re chopping up fruits, you think about all that’s happened to you and possible explanations for why your character suddenly ceased to exist in order to make room for you. What’s more is that no matter how many nights pass, you never end up waking from your dream. Which you fear is lasting longer than your usual ones.

Your working theory is that whatever force, be it magic or fate, tethering you to this world is also responsible for removing Tav. Astarion claimed that he couldn’t remember the finer details when you had confronted him. And so you settled with that hypothesis. That like how a thread that unravels opens a seam in a garment, a new thread must be used to darn the cloth together again.

You laugh at the disgustingly poetic analogy you created in your head. You fear that you’re becoming more and more deranged as—

“My, aren’t you busy?” The intrusive voice causes the knife to slip out of your hand a bit, thankfully only cutting off a portion of your index finger’s nail. Your shoulders, that were raised in alarm, release their tension after feeling the sudden chill leave your body.

“Astarion,” Exasperated, you put the knife down on the cutting board to catch your breath for a while.

“I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped sneaking up on me when I’m doing something dangerous.”

The high-elf offers a mischievous smile in response. “Very sorry, pet. But it’s hardly my fault when you’ve barely been paying attention to me.” There’s regret in his words, but not in his tone.

Because while perhaps it’s an odd interest, he enjoys hearing the quickened pace of your heart. The pulse getting louder, as it stays that way for longer.

“I’d feel sorry for doing so if you were too, but you’re not.”

You laugh out, breath still shaky but steadying slowly, as you pick up your knife again.

“I heard you’re part of the encampment that’s finishing off the goblins by midmorn.” Chopping the rest of the fruits, you feel his presence move from behind you to off to your side so you can see him from your peripherals.

“Hm? Yes. Although I would have preferred if we didn’t do this at all. It’s too much work, and the goblins could be entertaining! Killing useful spoils seems like an awful waste.”

This must be the reason why he approached you, to persuade you to call off the hunt. And his unfading smile supports that thought. When you voice said thought, it earns you a playful scoff.

“Don’t you have anything else on your mind other than the parasite lounging in it?”

The mood is light as you say this, the banter welcomed by you both.

And as you continue to converse, a few eyes begin to follow the two of you. They’ve never really seen Astarion interact with you for this long, at least not away from your private spaces. And even less without hushed voices. The interlocution is definitely a welcome spectacle to them.

“On my honor, the only thing on my mind is depraved, carnal lust.” He says, proudly. Gesturing to himself with one hand, and the other held high like he was swearing an oath.

Your closed mouth drops into frown, eyes wide, and your eyebrows skew upwards. A very undignified, but small, squeak coming from the back of your throat. You swore you heard someone groan in disappointment from far away too.

You know full well that the look of shock that you were sporting was by no means attractive, but the flagrant revelation, though not at all out of character, was shocking to have directed towards you. You’ve been trying to romance the elven vampire with your character, only to end up nowhere. Therefore you are completely unsure if the dialogue he was spewing was completely a figment of your imagination, or is, indeed, canon.

The elf in question has seen this expression of yours before. Quite often, too. And while he doesn’t think it a, “pleasant sight,” it is rather… charming to him.

Whether it be on purpose or not, people have the tendency to be on guard around him, preserving any twitch and sound that could give them away to themselves. Not that much had ever evaded him before with his naturally cunning behavior. But this clearly unscripted response, with the blatant confusion swimming in your eyes, is a rather refreshing sight to see.

“I see–” you clear your throat to lower your voice back to its normal octave. “Well, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to uh, bring those thoughts into fruition! Uh–,” You slide the rest of the cut fruits off of your cutting board and into the stew.

“Is there anything else you wanted to tell me? Something I should know?” You turn to face him. He laughs at first, but then his brows furrow in question, as if he did have something to say and forgot about it or thinks it is no longer an appropriate time to ask. He shakes his head and says something along the lines of, “letting you do all the hard work” and returns to his tent.

But you are not left alone for long as another member of your little ragtag team joins you to ask about dinner. To which you ask them for which meat would be better to toss into it.

—————————

After dinner, your little rapport concerning the plan and new findings with everyone is adjourned. Some thanked you before they left, and others simply walked away. From what you have learned from them, the Archdruid that was taken prisoner by the goblins was named, “Halsin.” He was a topic of interest as they said he might be able to aid you in your search for moonrise and understanding the Mindflayer worms.

Wyll had also approached you alone after dinner and offhandedly mentioned a dead boar being on the road. He had planned to return to camp with it if it could have been useful, but he had claimed that the animal had been unnervingly light. As if half of its weight was no longer there despite seemingly just keeling over for no reason.

You take note of that in one of your many journals, including additional information about the Archdruid and their kind in general. The book appearing more and more like the game’s quest booklet, with the exception of a few crossouts and colored ink to emphasize each quest’s urgency and relevance to finding a cure. When you successfully rescue the druid of the grove, it seems you will have to move out quite soon after, so you fixed up your pack just a bit to make it easier later on.

You look around, everyone seems to be in their respective areas. Doing whatever it is they usually do with the exception of Astarion. Though he has been known to either sneak off or hide away from time to time in his tent, so you think nothing of it.

You return to the communal chest, tallying up the remaining supplies and inspecting the wares. You sort the tradeable objects in one rucksack and appraise its worth. The chest also has pieces of gold, some that others have placed, and others you picked up and added. You prefer to let the others keep what they think is valuable to them, and only place what they want to share in the vessel.

If the party’s gold ever runs out, you think that the rucksack is worth a few nights of food when you travel out again. Assured by this knowledge, you placed your writing materials back in, closed the chest, and turned in for the night.

Maybe this time, you’ll wake up. But you also don’t really want to. Not just yet.

—————————————

As you slept, you wondered about the longevity of your knowledge of the media. You hadn’t finished the game, and although you’ve accomplished a fair bit of it, you worry about how you will face the events to come. One of the only reasons why you haven’t flinched so much at the terrors that occurred was because you had anticipated them. Braced yourself for the dangers ahead.

You fear what might happen when you no longer have that power at your disposal.

Perhaps it's the worry, perhaps it's the stiff, compact ground that you have yet to be accustomed to sleep on despite the bedroll, or perhaps it's the presence of something suddenly cool that stirs you awake.

But what you did not expect was Astarion’s face hovering over yours to be the reason. Fangs bared, and ready to bite. Your eyes go wide and you let out a small gasp, hands moving up in a gesture akin to clawing at yourself.

The elf realizes that you’re awake now and he curses. Moving away as you scramble upright just like you did all those nights ago. The look of genuine fear at the prospect of being bitten is apparent on your face, and he feels almost guilty to be greeted with it.

“Please, I wasn’t going to hurt you— I just needed, well, blood.” He says it in a panic. Worried that you might run off, losing his only sure chance, and possibly enraging the rest of the camp.

In this moment, you realized the error in your ways. Astarion had been hunting nearly every other night in the same area. And if you were progressing through the events like how the game did, he couldn’t have had the time nor energy to venture too far after feeding from most of the creatures in the vicinity.

‘The exsanguinated boar…’ You remember.

“You’ve been feeding on animals for the past few nights, haven’t you?”

“It seems like word got around then.” Although unknowingly, he’s referencing what Wyll delivered to you earlier in the night.

“I’m not some monster, I feed on boars, deer, kobolds– whatever I can get. I’m just too slow right now. And with the damned excursion,” He stops himself, complaining is only doing worse for his condition.

“It’s not enough. I feel so…weak. If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer. Fight better.” You’re conflicted. You had no problem offering yourself as your character for him to feed on, but even witnessing that through a disconnected screen was enough to make you feel uncomfortable imagining it. You care about him, want to give him what he deserves, but this…

What’s more is that you know what he’s saying is necessary, not at all overstating how dire his need to satiate his hunger is, making it all the more difficult.

He needs to convince you, if he wants to continue on, that is. Without the presence of the illithid, he resorts to more practical means of doing so. Similar to what he did to many.

Noticing the slight tremor of your hands, he takes the chance to slowly kneel down on your bedroll. Closing the distance between you. He takes your hand, now rougher from the work you do, and meets your shaken gaze with his dark eyes.

“Please. I only need a taste, I swear.” He had meant to tell you before dinner, had he not felt the eyes of the others on the two of you. This discovery is not lost on you. He needs you specifically. And you realize it's out of convenience because you’re an expendable resource. If you pass, the group can venture on, but he also still needs you alive for whatever reason. He can’t have the others finding out, not until they trust him.

He needs you to trust him. And this is the only way you can help him in this moment.

With that, you strengthen your resolve.

“I…I trust you, Astarion. But no more than what you need.” A dangerous bet, but you hope it would be worth it.

“Really? I–”

“Can I trust you on that?” The shock on his face fades, and he agrees.

“Let’s make ourselves comfortable, shall we?” You lay down, preparing yourself to faint during the process and allowing your blood to flow throughout your body. He observes the rapid movement of your eyes as he drapes himself above you. Your sight flitting from anywhere but him and then returning all the same. No doubt that you fear being at his mercy.

He feels almost sorry that you have to do this for him.

So he graces you with what mercy he can give.

The bite is quick. You would have felt the flesh of your neck parting for him, had he not done so. You feel tears prick at your eyes and start to feel the area from your neck and upwards go cold.

A momentary, sharp pain, that lulls to a chilling numbness in what seems like a matter of seconds.

You feel his body start to grow warmer at your expense and you feel satisfied knowing that you could help him.

When he doesn't stop, you start to worry.

Your breath catches in staccato beats, pulse quickening in tandem. You try to stop him, hands coming up to push or tug, but the heavy sensation that washes over you only permits them to find purchase on his form.

You try to speak, but it seems as if the common tongue does not reach him.

Your mind goes into overdrive, all of a sudden it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore and genuine fear courses through your veins.

You need him to stop, and you try to think of more efficient ways of doing so.

But your mind starts slowing as well. The pain has certainly faded, but the presence of the vampire at your throat reminds you in case you’ve forgotten.

As a last ditch effort, you try to use whatever might appeal to him, to break him out of the trance that he was in from finally replenishing himself.

It was one of the few Elvish words you recalled.

The effort thankfully makes him pull back in shock, stopping him. Your eyes finally close, thankful for the reprieve you're finally granted. You hear a distant, “thank you,” and a more distant “shit” before rest takes over.

You worry about waking up tomorrow.

But for now, you’re thankful that Astarion will be able to fight well.

For himself and for everyone else’s sake.

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Thank you to @rey26, @shyminnie07, @lynnloveshobi, @iggee-rose, @automnepoet, @tiannamortis, @aoirohi, @sarkara211, @jane-3043, @h3110-dar1in9, @h3ll0k1ttyl0ver333, @mimziethealien, @squichymochi, @sharabay, @furblrwurblr, @dork-of-the-universe, @thedevilssinner, @fuckalrighty, @queenofthespacesquids, @perseny, @goldenplutus, @h4nluv, @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer, and @auszimbo for asking to be tagged!!

#astarion ancunin #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion ancunin x reader #baldur's gate 3 x reader #aware!astarion #bg3 x reader isekai(?)#bg3 x reader

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nightlytoxicpassion · 3 months ago

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Refreshing

Yandere!Neuvillette x FemReader

Content: Crybaby reader. (No shame, I cry at everything.) No spell check or proof read, Dubcon, Noncon, Piss drinking, Forced orgasms, Infantilization, Dacryphilia.

It was a peaceful summer’s morning. The sun barely poked over the horizon, yet the finches still chirped giddily as they ate their fresh caught meal. You’re a beautiful sight to witness everyday, far too gorgeous to startle so early. Neuvillette tried to gently and quietly shuffle out of the silk covers so as not to wake you. Throughout the Justice’s morning routine he’d stare at your unconscious form. Intently listening to any small sound that would escape, Observing each movement as if it was a performance only for him to enjoy. Salivating at the love marks he desperately chewed into you last night. Though watching the tension of your left leg pulling on the hard bolted chain did make him a bit queasy. Neuvillette thought you were finally adjusting. It may have been a bit too early taking off your leash in hindsight. The broken living room lamp and vases are proof of that. The chain was a necessary evil. That’s what he told him when he installed it before your wedding night. You were going to be a rowdy wife. That much Neuvillette knew when he bought you from your family. Despite the dubious past between you two, he still whole heartedly loved and cherished you. No matter your violent temper tantrums or foul bitter words.

Once the sun had fully greeted the world, Neuvillette decided he’d surprise you with breakfast in bed. Though he ought not to be spoiling you after yesterday's fiasco. He however felt guilty for his treatment of you last night. Neuvillette was normally a gentle lover, yet he is still a man who can be wounded by harsh words. Thinking of you wobbling with soreness because of him. Neuvillette rather focus on making a filling meal instead of the creeping idea that his actions may have been wrong.

When Neuvillette was finished making you both something to eat, he softly called out to you. You had yet to awaken, still curled like a kitten in the impossibly soft sheets. He sighed happily at your cuteness, but it was time to eat. Setting down the trays, he pulled open the curtains fully, lighting beaming through the room. You whined as the sun reached your eyes, pulling the blanket over your head.

“Now, now time to wake up my dear.” His tone overflowed with love.

You only grumbled in response. Stubbornly staying under the blankets, curling up even further even though the chain prevented your one leg joining the rest of you. Neuvillette sighed before asking if you wanted to be difficult today. He didn’t much like punishing you in violent ways. Instead he’d smother you with affection or orgasms. Perhaps he believed if he loved you hard enough you’d reciprocate. After last night, you decide it be best to follow Neuvillette’s request.

Crawling out from your hiding spot, you are greeted with a very happy looking Neuvillette. His face was normally neutrally pensive to everyone, but he donned a sweet smile for you. When he placed the tray onto your lap, he snuck a few forehead kisses before going to sit on his side of the bed to join you.

Breakfast was a reheated flavorful consomme. You hated how sublime his cooking is, hated his honey filled voice, hated his handsome features. It was frustrating being loved by him. Because he was nearly perfect in how he loved you, giving you his everything then some. Yet he infantilizes you the moment you show any negative emotion. Cooing at you that he’ll make it better, or that exploring the world is far too dangerous for such a sweet girl like you.

You were snapped out you thought when he questioned:

“Why are you crying my love? Is the consomme not to your liking? You can simply say so,’ He says as he reaches to cup your face, wiping away your tears; “I won't be offended.”

You want to scream; “It’s not the fucking soup!” Yet you remain silent.

Everything was far too complex to explain. How could you articulate that you yearn for him, yet despise what he has done to you? How could you manage to tell him that your body viciously lust for him, yet you're disgusted that he has forced himself on you multiple times in spite of your pleas to stop? The frustration of something so stupid as breakfast is bringing you to cry. Neuvillette moves both his and your food out of the way before pulling into his lap. He holds you almost painfully tight to his chest. Whispering soothing words, anything to make you passive. Yet you can feel him twitching against your ass. You’re still sore from last night, you’re not ready to take him again. Neuvillette slowly stops his sugary words in favor of giveing you tiny kisses wherever he could reach, rocking himself against you. There’s no way back to a peaceful breakfast. He is going to do whatever he pleases with you.

“Could you not penetrate me please?” You quietly beg; almost uncertain in your request.

Neuvillette hums, “Whatever you desire my dear, just allow me to indulge myself with your essence…”

You’re still crying as he disrobes you. He kisses, bites and licks every inch of your skin. Pulling your hands away from your face, kissing your wrist before telling you to not cover yourself.

“Don’t hide from me darling, I want to savor your reactions, your adorable sounds. You can do that for me, yes?” He goans.

He doesn’t wait for your input, as he refocuses himself on serving you. Neuvillette normally slows himself once he reaches your thighs. He teases you. But to your dismay, he rushes through his arousing performance to shove his face into your cunt. It's so jarring you can help but reach for him. Grabbing fist full of his hair, pushing him away. Neuvillette moans as you touch him, he grabs one of wrist, moving so it's like you're pulling him in. You bite back whimpers and squeaks. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction that you’re enjoying this. However, he knows your weak soft, honing in on them. He’s merciless as he attacks your clit with his tongue, suckling on the pearl. Unwillfully you let out a high pitched moan. Oh if you only knew how feral you made him with such pretty sounds. Neuvillette grunts as he eats you out, trying to get more of you. He then pulls back to slip his tongue into you clenching hole, fucking you.

Then you feel something tight, not like reaching that glorious high he so often brought you. No this was uncomfortable, yet not entirely unpleasant. Then it hits you, you really have to pee.

“Neuvillette stop! Wait please!” You cry as you try wiggling away from his grasp, pushing his head away.

However he simply gives you a deadly sharp look. He didn’t want you to interrupt his meal so instead of listening he doubled down on his deed. In one hand reaching under him, the other gliding to below your navel. Neuvillette pushed a single finger into your pussy, fingering you meanly. Sucking your clit at the same time. Then pressing down right above your mound.

You weren’t having an orgasm, far from it. Yet your twitching and locking legs nearly made it appear as such. Some part of you was embarrassed for wetting yourself however hopefully this makes your husband think twice when you beg for him to stop. That hope quickly died when he kept lapping at you. The sound of him gulping was sickening. Neuvillette truly had no shame when it came to you. He continued licking and fingering you. Still trying to coax out an orgasm from you. It only took a few more minutes for that wave of euphoria to overcome you. Neuvillette only relented once he was pleased with himself. Normally he’d dreamingly kiss you back to reality but he held off, instead he scooped you out of the soiled bed, walking you to the bathroom. Neuvillette wrapped you up in one of the bath robes before sitting you down on the edge of the obscenely large bath. He then turned the faucet on, placing his hand in to check the temperature. Next he went to the sink. Leaning down and cupping his hand to gather water. Neuvillette rinsed his mouth a few times before turning back to you. He was smiling at your afterglowing self, still tear stricken with puffing eyes.

His expression is love drunk and cheeky. “Don't be embarrassed my darling,” he kissed, “I found that to be most refreshing.”

#genshin impact smut #yandere genshin impact #yandere smut #yandere #smut #genshin impact x reader #yandere neuvillette

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otomehonyaku · 7 months ago

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DIABOLIK LOVERS More,Blood Stellaworth Complete Set Tokuten Short Stories ☽ Ruki ver.

Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE,BLOOD ステラワース全巻連動購入特典ショートストーリ English translation by @otomehonyaku Scans can be found here (courtesy of @karleksmumskladdkaka!)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

SUMMARY | This short story provides a slice of Ruki and Yui's daily life after the events of More,Blood. Ruki has always had a preference for soup, but when Yui prepares a particularly hearty vegetable soup for him one day, he comes to an important realisation.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Please do not reuse or repost my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

—The first time I learned to appreciate soup was when I was in that dark cage.

“It had already gone cold, but to me, it was the most delicious thing on Earth back then. It was infinitely better than the junk I ate while I roamed the streets, after all.”

“Oh…”

Somehow, as I ate the soup she had prepared for me, I had somehow started talking about all the reasons why I had this particular preference for the dish. The story had stolen the words right from her mouth.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I shouldn’t have brought up such an unpleasant story during dinner.”

“That’s… that’s not it,” she explained, hurrying to wipe the tears from her eyes. That’s not what I meant…”

“Do you pity my past self?”

“Pity kind of feels like… a high-handed way of putting it. I don’t mean it like that…”

“I see.” My voice was monotonous while I spoke.

I took up my spoon again and continued to eat.

It was a simple consomme soup, filled with colourful slices of a variety of vegetables. The soup that we were served during our time in the detention facility was a far cry from this. Back then, the few off-coloured beans that floated in the soup, though they barely had any nutritional value, were enough to bring me at least an inkling of happiness.

While the memory resurfaced, it occurred to me that I had obtained true happiness since then, no matter how absurd it seemed.

“And to think a human would accompany me at dinner…” I mumbled to myself, earning a surprised look and a soft what did you say? from her.

It’s nothing, I swiftly replied.

My life was saved by Him. The four of us had been destined to die a noble death in that filthy cell, and yet He had rescued us. Just like that, he became our god. Our saviour.

Someone to serve.

My brothers and I would do anything to fulfil his wishes without batting so much as an eye. And yet… What was I even doing right now?

I let her make soup for me like this. She willingly stayed with me all this time, even though she cannot become Eve. Even though I cannot become Adam.

“Ruki…?”

As we sat in silence, various thoughts stirring inside of me and picking at my resolve, I reached across the table to take her hand in my own.

“...?”

“Sorry. Would it be alright… if we stayed like this for a little while?” I said, my grip on her small, soft hand tightening.

Greed is a grave sin according to God.

Considering that I agreed with Him, I was awfully addicted to this greed all the same. I was the sinner of all sinners, thriving on such atrocities. When a simple bean soup was all it took to please you, the first taste of a good vegetable soup makes it easy to take such happiness for granted.

“Still, I will…”

Never let you go, I wanted to say, but I could not manage the words. She likely did not want to listen to the mutterings of such a weak, pitiable man.

It was difficult to gauge her thoughts, but it was then that she spoke with a gentle smile on her face. “Don’t worry.”

“What?”

“I’ll be by your side, Ruki.”

My eyes unconsciously widened in response. Her soft smile made my chest ache. She was Eve and I was her captor—she should be miserable, and yet she was so extraordinarily kind.

Did she not realise that it would only add to my suffering?

“Alright,” I replied curtly. Then, ever so unwillingly… I let go of her hand. “The soup is getting cold. Let’s eat.”

“Yes, let’s.”

After that, we ate the soup together in silence.

I found myself thinking there was nothing in the world that I wanted more in that moment. No matter how lavish a meal I would be served, I would cherish this vegetable soup as my favourite dish for as long as I lived.

#i reached 1300 followers last week aaaah! thank you all so much for the support (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡#sorry for the slight delay but i desperately needed to take a week off! i'll try to post the next mb short story this weekend #diabolik lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers translation #diahell #diabolik lovers translations #otomehonyaku #my translations #diabolik lovers more blood #more blood #Mukami ruki #Ruki mukami

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transparentgentlemenmarker · 2 months ago

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Du Crapaud

France, 2030

- Bonjour. Je suis madame Chombier. Je vous ai déposé des appareils la semaine dernière pour leur contrôle technique républicain. Je viens les recuperer.

- Je suis désolé, madame Chombier, mais aucun de vos appareils n'a réussi à passer le contrôle.

- Quoi ? Vous êtes pas sérieux ?

- Si, regardez, le technicien qui a effectué les tests a trouvé des défauts majeurs. Votre trottinette électrique a des problèmes au niveau des freins, votre machine à laver consomme trop d'eau, votre grille-pain consomme trop d'électricité et nous avons découvert que la texture qui recouvre votre vibromasseur n'était pas en plastique recyclé.

- D'accord. Et il se passe quoi maintenant ? Je dois faire quoi pour récupérer mes appareils ?

- Si vous voulez les récupérer, vous devrez payer une pénalité de 135 euros en plus des 210 euros du contrôle technique, ensuite vous avez un mois pour corriger les défauts et repasser le contrôle.

- Mais ça coûte la peau du cul ! Laissez tomber, je vous laisse tout, vous pouvez les mettre aux ordures.

- Pour ça, il faut payer la taxe républicaine de tri des appareils non éco-responsables.

- Et c'est combien ça ?

- 300 euros.

- Mais vous vous rendez compte que c'est une arnaque totale, votre truc ?

- Madame Chombier, ce n'est pas une question d'argent, tout ça, c'est pour votre sécurité et pour sauver la planète. Vous ne voulez pas sauver la planète ? Vous êtes climatosceptique, c'est ça ?

- Oh non non, pas du tout. Je vais payer pour la destruction.

- Vous ne voulez pas au moins récupérer votre vibromasseur

#écologie #crapaud #texte vie #recycling #recyclage

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losttranslator · 2 years ago

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on en parle que la scène où guenièvre demande "bon, j'le vois quand ?" alors qu'elle vient de renoncer à son rêve d'épouser un blond, toute sourire et toute mimi pcq elle veut trop rendre service, est directement suivie de la scène où aconia fait promettre à arthur de jamais consommer son mariage. pour moi y a une mise en opposition délibérée de l'innocence sincère de guenièvre vs le calcul politique d'aconia. genre guenièvre se sacrifie déjà pour arthur alors que y a zéro amour entre eux alors qu'aconia - qui aime arthur et vient de l'épouser - met sciemment (et égoïstement) le bordel dans son futur de souverain.

(je dis sciemment pcq arthur lui explique qu'il doit faire un mariage politique et qu'elle en sait largement assez pour savoir qu'un mariage politique non consommé c'est suffisamment grave pour mettre le titre d'arthur en péril - chose que lui ne sait probablement pas encore. et pour moi c'est clair qu'elle fait ça pcq elle en veut à mort à rome)

(c'est même pas du aconia-bashing hein pcq je trouve que ses raisons sont compréhensibles et qu'arthur est entièrement responsable de comment il traite guenièvre par la suite, je trouve juste le parallèle intéressant)

#kaamelott #aconia #arthur pendragon #guenièvre #pendranièvre #kaamelott livre vi #kl6

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reperesptiku · 19 days ago

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Des objets sculptés pour un usage moderne et sans contrainte

Dans un monde où le confort personnel devient un pilier central de nos habitudes, certains objets changent notre rapport au plaisir. Loin des produits trop codés, excessivement techniques ou visuellement tapageurs, une nouvelle génération de créations se développe dans un esprit de subtilité. C’est dans ce contexte que PTIKU s’impose comme une référence. Sa ligne de demi-sculptures réalistes, pensées pour accompagner les moments d’exploration sensorielle, repense l’objet non pas comme une simple extension fonctionnelle, mais comme un geste esthétique.

Ce positionnement découle d’une analyse fine des attentes contemporaines : plus de légèreté, plus de finesse dans l’approche, moins d’injonctions visuelles ou sonores. Les formats proposés par PTIKU s’adaptent aux réalités actuelles : vie en colocation, espaces réduits, exigences de discrétion. Chaque élément est conçu avec attention : la matière utilisée reproduit au plus proche la température corporelle, le toucher, la résistance douce qui évoque une rencontre authentique avec la peau.

Ce choix du compact n’est pas un compromis, mais une optimisation. Un objet plus petit, mieux pensé, peut offrir une richesse d’expériences largement supérieure à des formats plus encombrants ou démonstratifs. La compacité permet aussi une liberté d’usage : transport facile, rangement discret, intégration naturelle dans une routine intime ou apaisante. En écartant tout élément superflu, PTIKU concentre les efforts sur l’essentiel : un rendu sensoriel de haute précision, une stimulation ciblée, et un design capable de s’adapter aux corps sans jamais les contraindre.

Cette démarche rencontre un public en quête de produits compatibles avec une esthétique épurée et une consommation responsable. Les matériaux utilisés sont testés, respectueux, et la production est partiellement manuelle, ce qui confère à chaque modèle une forme de singularité. Il ne s’agit pas ici de produire en masse, mais de proposer une alternative, entre artisanat numérique et exigence industrielle.

Enfin, il est important de souligner que ce type d’objet, parce qu’il s’intègre facilement dans le quotidien, ne nécessite pas de discours tapageur ou provocant. Il devient une composante naturelle du bien-être, à égalité avec d’autres pratiques d’attention à soi. Et sur ce point, PTIKU réussit là où beaucoup échouent : en installant un produit fort sans jamais bousculer le cadre intime de ses utilisateurs.

Une présence digitale au service d’un message cohérent

La visibilité d’un projet ne se construit pas uniquement sur la qualité de ses produits, mais aussi sur sa capacité à instaurer un dialogue crédible avec son audience. Dans cette logique, PTIKU n’a pas seulement misé sur l’excellence matérielle : la marque a développé une présence digitale cohérente, pensée pour refléter ses valeurs fondamentales. Sur des plateformes comme TikTok, ce choix stratégique prend tout son sens. Loin des formats sensationnalistes, les contenus partagés évoquent une recherche d’équilibre, de sobriété et de précision.

L’environnement numérique actuel favorise les contenus rapides, souvent bruyants, parfois superficiels. PTIKU fait le choix inverse. Chaque vidéo, chaque publication est pensée pour transmettre une idée claire : celle d’un rapport personnel, construit, au confort sensoriel. Cela passe par des gestes simples, des prises de vue nettes, des rythmes posés, et un cadrage centré sur les détails. L’objectif n’est pas d’enchaîner des vues, mais de créer un lien avec les personnes qui s’interrogent sur la manière d’intégrer ces objets dans leur quotidien sans bruit, sans excès.

Ce positionnement atypique séduit un public en quête de sobriété, souvent lassé des mises en scène trop évidentes. Les interactions sur TikTok confirment cette intuition : les commentaires parlent de ressenti, de discrétion, de qualité perçue. Certains utilisateurs expriment même leur surprise face à cette approche plus calme, plus stable, loin des représentations stéréotypées. PTIKU se détache ainsi d’une communication agressive pour proposer autre chose : une écoute, un accompagnement, une forme de continuité entre l’objet et le geste.

En investissant cette plateforme, la marque ne cherche pas simplement à capter l’attention, mais à créer une mémoire visuelle. À travers des séquences lentes, des mises en lumière précises et une musique choisie avec soin, PTIKU façonne un univers identifiable. Ce n’est plus le produit qui est mis en avant, mais le sentiment qu’il suscite : légèreté, sérénité, confiance. Cette stratégie redonne au spectateur une place active, non plus comme cible, mais comme individu capable de projeter ses propres attentes.

Ce travail sur l’image permet également de renforcer le discours global de PTIKU sur la durabilité, l’innovation artisanale, et la justesse de fabrication. Rien n’est laissé au hasard. Du packaging à la vidéo en ligne, chaque élément renvoie à une idée d’harmonie. Et cette harmonie devient un levier puissant pour construire la fidélité : les visiteurs qui découvrent PTIKU via les réseaux sont invités à aller plus loin, à découvrir les pages du site, les articles, les guides. Le lien entre communication digitale et expérience produit est donc direct, structuré, et profondément maîtrisé.

Tisser un lien progressif entre exploration visuelle et usage réfléchi

Les supports numériques offrent aujourd’hui la possibilité d’approcher un objet non plus comme un simple produit, mais comme une expérience en devenir. PTIKU s’inscrit dans cette dynamique en concevant ses vidéos non comme des démonstrations commerciales, mais comme des fragments d’une trajectoire possible. Ce choix transforme le rapport entre marque et spectateur : il ne s’agit plus de convaincre en quelques secondes, mais de suggérer, d’inviter à percevoir.

Sur TikTok, cette orientation prend forme à travers une esthétique précise. Les mouvements de caméra sont volontairement ralentis, les angles choisis évitent toute mise en scène superflue. Le geste est respecté, jamais forcé. Cela crée une ambiance particulière, proche de celle d’un atelier ou d’un espace personnel, où l’on prend le temps de découvrir, sans jugement ni urgence. En observant ces séquences, l’utilisateur ne reçoit pas un message, il entre dans un rythme.

Ce rythme, justement, constitue l’un des leviers les plus marquants de cette stratégie. Dans un flux d’images souvent trop rapide, la lenteur devient un acte fort. Elle impose un nouveau tempo, plus humain, plus tangible. Elle permet de faire exister chaque détail – texture, angle, lumière – comme une étape à part entière. Cette approche visuelle donne alors un sens nouveau à la notion de confort : celui qui ne vient pas de la promesse, mais de l’observation patiente.

Cette manière de s’adresser à son audience n’est pas anodine. Elle attire un public différent, sensible à la cohérence, à la qualité, à la discrétion. Ce public, en explorant les publications, découvre que la marque ne vend pas uniquement un produit, mais un rapport possible à soi, aux gestes, aux rythmes du quotidien. Et c’est ce déplacement de perspective qui fait la force du projet : on n’achète pas un objet, on choisit une manière de vivre avec.

La preuve de cette stratégie est visible dans l’engagement croissant autour de certaines vidéos : partages organiques, commentaires détaillés, suivis spontanés. Pour ceux qui souhaitent s’immerger dans cette approche progressive, un aperçu direct est proposé via ce fil de contenus vidéo réguliers, où chaque publication prolonge les valeurs fondatrices de la marque. Sans forcing, sans effets artificiels, juste une suite de gestes maîtrisés, de matières mises en lumière, d’usages suggérés.

En positionnant ses publications comme autant de points de contact non intrusifs, PTIKU développe une relation de confiance. Ce lien, une fois établi, s’étend naturellement vers le site, vers les guides, vers les choix disponibles. La boucle est complète : ce que l’on voit, ce que l’on comprend, ce que l’on ressent sont alignés. C’est cette justesse qui confère à l’ensemble sa puissance et sa stabilité.

Conclusion – Entre régularité des gestes et constance dans la ligne visuelle

Ce qui distingue l’approche développée par PTIKU sur TikTok n’est pas la surenchère ou la nouveauté à tout prix, mais une forme de régularité réfléchie. Chaque contenu publié s’inscrit dans une continuité : le ton reste mesuré, l’intention claire, le rythme maîtrisé. Il n’est jamais question d’interpeller violemment, mais d’ouvrir une fenêtre calme, dans laquelle l’attention peut se déposer.

Ce choix stratégique permet à la marque de se démarquer dans un environnement souvent saturé. Là où d’autres privilégient les effets visuels et les slogans directs, PTIKU propose des fragments de réalité. La caméra ne force pas le regard ; elle accompagne. Les plans ne guident pas le choix ; ils suggèrent une présence possible. Cette ligne visuelle discrète mais constante nourrit une identité cohérente sur la durée.

Cela a plusieurs effets concrets. D’abord, cela génère un climat de confiance : les abonnés reviennent non pas pour être surpris, mais pour retrouver une atmosphère reconnaissable. Ensuite, cela valorise chaque publication comme une étape, et non comme une pièce isolée. Enfin, cela renforce l’image de sérieux, de qualité et de constance – trois piliers essentiels pour bâtir une relation solide avec une audience exigeante.

Sur le plan du référencement et de la visibilité, cette stratégie trouve aussi des bénéfices mesurables. Une ligne éditoriale claire facilite la reconnaissance algorithmique, favorise l’engagement progressif, et établit un socle stable pour les futures campagnes. Ce n’est pas l’effet immédiat qui est recherché, mais la construction patiente d’un environnement identifiable.

PTIKU ne cherche pas à imposer un message ; la marque propose un espace, une lenteur, un autre rapport aux objets qu’elle met en avant. Ce positionnement, appuyé par la régularité de ses publications, devient une véritable signature. Et c’est précisément ce qui rend cette présence si précieuse sur TikTok : une manière de tenir le cap, dans un univers qui change sans cesse, sans jamais céder à la dispersion.

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aurianneor · 8 months ago

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Ecologie efficace

Nous entendons de nombreuses mesures pour l’écologie.

Il faut acheter des produits d’entretiens écologiques, isoler thermiquement les maisons, changer les chaudières et avoir un puit canadien, acheter moins de plastique, rouler dans des voitures écologiques, limiter sa vitesse sur les routes, limiter la consommation d’eau quand on se douche ou quand on utilise la chasse d’eau, limiter la consommation de béton, avoir un compost dans son jardin, limiter sa consommation de viande, utiliser du savon d’Alep et limiter sa consommation de crèmes solaires, utiliser un four solaire, investir dans de l’énergie écologique (éoliennes, panneaux photovoltaïques, usines hydroélectriques), acheter de la seconde main. Le prix de l’électricité, du pétrole et de l’alimentation s’envolent sous prétexte d’écologie.

Les mines, l'extraction du lithium, les déchets liés aux centrales nucléaires, les grosses usines, la construction, le pétrole, l'agriculture intensive (pollution des sols, consommation exhorbitante d'eau). Les multinationales polluent bien d'avantage que les particuliers et ne subissent aucune mesure écologique pour limiter ces pollutions. Les plus riches, avec les multinationales notamment, sont responsables des plus gros écocides dans le monde: ils détruisent les forêts dont la forêt amazonienne, polluent les rivières, détruisent les fonds marins, imposent des conditions telles aux agriculteurs qu’ils détruisent les terres, qui, à force de produits chimiques, risquent fort de devenir stériles, et maltraitent les animaux. De plus, les produits chimiques comme les pesticides causent l’extinction d’espèces entières d’animaux. Ils devraient être jugés internationalement, et pas selon les lois dont ils décident dans les pays.

Certaines comme l’agriculture ou la construction sont même subventionnées. D’autres reçoivent même la légion d’honneur (par exemple Total).

Revealed: the 20 firms behind a third of all carbon emissions – The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/oct/09/revealed-20-firms-third-carbon-emissions

90% de la pollution industrielle vient du fait de fabriquer des choses: un logement, un véhicule ou des vêtements. L’obsolescence, le changement des normes qui force les gens à s’équiper ou l’usage de la consommation comme objet de statut social sont très néfastes.

How Buying Stuff Drives Climate Change – Columbia University – Columbia Climate School: https://news.climate.columbia.edu/2020/12/16/buying-stuff-drives-climate-change/

Les mesures citées au début sont bien utiles pour préserver l’environnement et limiter la consommation mais ce sont de mesurettes comparées aux mesures qui devraient être prises à l’échelle mondiale.

How companies blame you for climate change – BBC: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20220504-why-the-wrong-people-are-blamed-for-climate-change

Mais le gros de la pollution est encore à venir. Les pays en voie de développement veulent des usines, de l’énergie, des voitures et de la viande. Si on ne les aide pas, cela va se faire avec des usines à charbon très polluantes, du pétrole et de l’agriculture intensive (effectuée parfois dans des déserts, ce qui pompe toute l’eau dont la population a besoin). Il faut voir l’écologie à l’échelle mondiale et ne pas prendre des mesures que dans les pays développés sans quoi la couche d’ozone va en pâtir et l’air va devenir irrespirable.

“Si rien n’est fait, les changements climatiques entraîneront une augmentation de la température moyenne de la planète de plus de 3 °c et auront des effets néfastes sur tous les écosystèmes. Nous sommes déjà témoins de la façon dont les changements climatiques peuvent exacerber les tempêtes et les catastrophes, ainsi que les menaces telles que la pénurie de nourriture et d’eau, qui peuvent être source de conflits. L’inaction finira par nous coûter beaucoup plus cher que si nous agissons maintenant.” Objectif 13 : Prendre d’urgence des mesures pour lutter contre les changements climatiques et leurs répercussions – ONU: https://www.un.org/sustainabledevelopment/fr/climate-change-2/

Il faut aider les pays en voie de développement pour qu’ils se développent de manière saine pour l’humanité.

Cela est difficile. Il ne s’agit pas d’envoyer de l’argent car l’expérience montre que l’argent serait détourné au profit de personnes corrompues. Il faut du monde sur place pour vérifier que les travaux en faveur de l’écologie sont effectués. Il faut éduquer les populations à l’écologie et leur donner les moyens de mettre des mesures en place. Pour que les pays en développement deviennent des pays à faible émission comme les pays d’Europe, il faudrait 2 400 milliards de dollars par an. Actuellement, les subventions aux énergies fossiles totalisent 5 000 milliards de dollars par an. Cela coûterait deux fois moins de passer aux énergies renouvelables que de maintenir les énergies fossiles. António Guterres, a attaqué l’utilisation des subventions en mai 2024, déclarant : "Ce que nous faisons, c'est utiliser l'argent des contribuables - c'est-à-dire notre argent - pour favoriser les ouragans, étendre les sécheresses, faire fondre les glaciers, blanchir les coraux. En un mot, pour détruire le monde". ("What we are doing is using taxpayers’ money – which means our money – to boost hurricanes, to spread droughts, to melt glaciers, to bleach corals. In one word – to destroy the world.”) Les impôts subventionnent la destruction de la planète au lieu de la sauver. C'est un des sujets qui sera discuté à la COP 29 du 11 au 22 novembre 2024.

Money, money, money: Financing plans for the climate transition – i4ce: https://www.i4ce.org/en/publication/financing-transition-multi-scale-challenge-climate/

After Bonn and towards COP 29: the battle on finance and the role of financing plans for the transition – i4ce: https://www.i4ce.org/en/after-bonn-towards-cop29-battle-finance-role-financing-plans-transition-climate/

How do we rein in the fossil fuel industry? Here are eight ideas – The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/oct/14/how-rein-in-fossil-fuel-industry-eight-ideas

Global Fossil Fuel Subsidies Remain Large: An Update Based on Country-Level Estimates – IMF: https://www.imf.org/en/Publications/WP/Issues/2019/05/02/Global-Fossil-Fuel-Subsidies-Remain-Large-An-Update-Based-on-Country-Level-Estimates-46509

La Chine et la Russie investissent dans les pays en voie de développement sans aucune conscience écologique. Il faut faire de la diplomatie envers ces pays pour qu’ils intègrent l’écologie.

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Eficiencia ecológica: https://www.aurianneor.org/eficiencia-ecologica/

Useful Ecology: https://www.aurianneor.org/useful-ecology/

Fund: https://www.aurianneor.org/fund-selon-le-dernier-rapport-du-fonds-monetaire/

L’écoterrorisme: https://www.aurianneor.org/lecoterrorisme/

Consumption: Dream & Reality: https://www.aurianneor.org/consumption-dream-realitymore-love/

Mes hormones veulent de l’admiration: https://www.aurianneor.org/mes-hormones-veulent-de-ladmiration-je-veux/

Idée lumineuse du siècle: https://www.aurianneor.org/idee-lumineuse-du-siecle-the-light-bulb/

Les 1% les plus riches sont en guerre contre le reste du monde: https://www.aurianneor.org/les-1-les-plus-riches-sont-en-guerre-contre-le-reste/

You can’t get enough… Enough!: https://www.aurianneor.org/you-cant-get-enough-enough-the-same-companies/

Idée lumineuse du siècle: https://www.aurianneor.org/idee-lumineuse-du-siecle-the-light-bulb/

Le Pérou, la biodiversité en danger: https://www.aurianneor.org/le-perou-la-biodiversite-en-danger/

Juste une question de culture; et de politique…: https://www.aurianneor.org/juste-une-question-de-culture-et-de-politique/

Solar Oven: https://www.aurianneor.org/solar-oven/

Stop au tout-béton: https://www.aurianneor.org/stop-au-tout-beton/

Préserver l’eau: https://www.aurianneor.org/preserver-leau/

Viande et environnement, est-ce possible?: https://www.aurianneor.org/viande-et-environnement-est-ce-possible-non-si/

Clean Clothes: https://www.aurianneor.org/clean-clothes-shirt-on-your-back/

Demain – Chapitre 1 – L’Agriculture: https://www.aurianneor.org/demain-chapitre-1-lagriculture-demainlefilm/

Nano Confiance: https://www.aurianneor.org/nano-confiance-affaire-des-oeufs-contamines-les/

Commerce équitable et bio: https://www.aurianneor.org/commerce-equitable-et-bio/

Tomorrow – Chap 2: L’énergie: https://www.aurianneor.org/tomorrow-chap-2-lenergie-demainlefilm/

40 ans, un risque maîtrisé?: https://www.aurianneor.org/40-ans-un-risque-maitrise-votez-pour-defendre/

Le flou artistique des voitures écologiques: https://www.aurianneor.org/le-flou-artistique-des-voitures-ecologiques-i/

Le transport zéro émission: https://www.aurianneor.org/le-transport-zero-emission/

Les transports en commun gratuits: https://www.aurianneor.org/wp-admin/post.php?post=7022&action=edit

L’avion à l’hydrogène: https://www.aurianneor.org/lavion-a-lhydrogene/

Healthy Road: https://www.aurianneor.org/healthy-road-etre-en-meilleure-sante-etre-plus-a/

Piste scooter / Moto: https://www.aurianneor.org/piste-scooter-moto-healthy/

Le Paon Scooter: https://www.aurianneor.org/le-paon-scooter-econoniques-par-rapport-a-une/

L’écolo confort, un mode de vie: https://www.aurianneor.org/lecolo-confort-un-mode-de-vie-comment-utiliser/

Crèmes solaires: https://www.aurianneor.org/cremes-solaires-differences-entre-ecran-solaire/

Healthy Bronzage: https://www.aurianneor.org/healthy-bronzage-aller-progressivement-au-soleil/

Healthy Skin: https://www.aurianneor.org/healthy-skin-wikipedia-savon-dalep/

Healthy Hair, Les conseils d’une Wookie pour cheveux: https://www.aurianneor.org/healthy-hair-les-conseils-dune-wookie-pour/

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